smalltownwisdom

Friday Night

By Laura McCollough

Another hard week

 tired but

make the effort

Hire a sitter

put off the electric bill

Pretty face

too much makeup

teeth not perfect

no money for that

Nothing to wear

borrow a top from a friend

shiny, cheap and tight

clings to the muffin top

over jeans from

before the baby

Old bridesmaid's heels

kill to walk in 

the bar is full

the usual crowd

look for that guy

 with the cute smile

not here tonight

 married anyway

 the rest are slim pickins

jeans low down

 silver studded belts

hats on sideways

not a decent ass in the bunch

strong cologne

don't expect them to buy drinks

broke

not too bright

air-guitar their cue sticks

to the thrumming jukebox

hang around til closing

who will be lonely

desperate

enough to take them home.

lovingcarewisdom

Family Leave

By Laura McCollough Moss

That's it

don't be restless now

Dial soap

hot water in a plastic basin

squeeze the cloth tight

wrap it around your hand

like a mitt

never forgot that

press the moist, clean-smelling warmth

gently against her face and

hear the grateful sigh

Wipe the eyes carefully

outward from the inside corner

each side of the nose

wet the lips

dip

rinse

"I was thinking,"

she rasps

"About the restaurant.

Mike could make up boxed lunches.

He could have specials with

a different sandwich featured every day."

There's a pause while I stare into the cloudy water

tears piercing my eyes

She looks at me

"What's wrong Honey?"

I look at her

really look

we both know her time is fading

"I'm just sad that you won't be there."

I take her hand and clean between the fingers.

There's so little I can do and yet

it is everything.

She doesn't look now

closes her eyes

"I'll be there,"

she says

Picking up the towel

I know

 she will.



hardwonwisdom

Good Grief

By Laura McCollough Moss

Slowly

slowly

the veil is lifted

look up

accept the sun's comfort

Ah, that's what it felt like

it's been so cold 

 so dark

for so long

One day a sliver of joy streams in

with its friend hope

Shedding light

you remember

fondly

without tears

laugh again

A far better tribute

to live your life

lay your cautious heart bare

celebrate

 what was

who's left

 what is and

what's to come.



painfulwisdom

Just a Feeling I Get

By Laura McCollough Moss

I'd like to quantify

this pain for you

on a scale of one to ten

it's not so much a pain

as an ache

oh, not an ache but a

sensation

all down my arms

 across my chest

where someone has been

taken away

never to hold

again

what kind of remedy

 not a job for

non-steroidal anti-inflammatories

acetaminophen won't touch it

narcotics wouldn't make a dent

I've tried red wine

which when overdone

only helps the tears to flow

 then the ache stops being dull

 throbs

and my fingers tingle

grasping for

a memory.

resurrectionwisdom

How I Spent My Easter Break

By Laura McCollough Moss

Ever the Good Mother

or so I assumed

as I tidied and scrubbed

baked and shopped

careful to select

to convey welcome

attention to preference

and comfort

unintentionally

 making the fatal mistake

of expectation

A misguided effort

to mend

the apparently irreparable

result of my

abiding,

smothering love

Twenty year old home video

aiming the camera at a

car-seated toddler

whose disinterested gaze out the window

makes the cajoling

"Do you love your Mom?"

over and over

all the more humiliating

This need runs deep

not connected to you

and starting

long before you came along

but you were supposed to fill it

And you've grown to resent me

hate me even, I'm sure

I'm a childish writer

a wannabe intellectual

I don't act my age

I'm delusional

naive

ignorant

An unsafe, unreliable confidante

bound to leak

secrets

in the hunt for affirmation

Setting this down

I think I hate me, too

how could it have gone so wrong

Time to snap

that brittle yardstick

look deep inside and

start over

There's an anger simmering in me now

unloved

unrecognized

unappreciated

it's time to learn that comfort can only be found

within

too staggering a burden to place

on anyone else

So I won't wait here

to be told of my

shortcomings

I won't come begging for the report

I'll be busy

licking my wounds

on a yoga mat

maybe some travel

more conscious writing

Surround myself with other imperfect people

who understand

This whipping post

has closed up shop

and you are free,

Child!

free.

fretfulwisdom

Worried

By Laura McCollough Moss

I'm worried

will Spring ever come

will I gain weight

from Easter dinner

will my dogs stay healthy

will the organic detergent

get the clothes as clean as Tide

will these wars ever stop

will I lose my job

will I have to work forever

will gas prices go higher

will I get cancer

like my parents

will we have an earthquake

does my husband still want me

am I looking older

will the Colts have a decent season

will I write anything of substance

will anybody care

will I have grandchildren

will we sell the house

will the business thrive

can Lil Jon win the Apprentice

will facebook cost money

why'd I buy a gas guzzler

flying Southwest in July

is God for real

should I rip up the old carpet

will I get out in my kayak

will the sixteens fit by summer

can I face the anniversary

of my mother's death

can't bear to lose anyone else

yet know I will

what's it feel like to die

what's this rash about

do those sneakers really tone anything

should I have had those two cookies

am I weird

are my kids happy

can their partners stand me

can I live my dreams

do I drink too much coffee

I'm telling you

I'm worried.

workingclasswisdom

All There Is

By Laura McCollough Moss

So this is it,

then

wake up

show up

digest the insults

endure the ignorance

dodge the bullets

Windows

who needs 'em?

Let's see you

put a positive spin

on this development.

Somehow you still try

embrace the challenge

assimilate

Stay busy

eat shit

and die

 a little

every day.